๐ Published on: 2024-11-24 16:28:00
โฑ Duration: 00:45:55 (2755 seconds)
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๐ Video Description:
๐ Channel: Aapo Olervo
๐ Channel Country: Finland
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๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ Transcript:
hello and welcome back to my video blog it’s 1 1 9 a.m. on Sunday yesterday after I finished my video blog I went to um K area that is next to my old uh old house and uh uh there was some after party ininin and um and some uh skateboarding Quest um or like a competition who like questions about about skateboarding and uh some DJ playing first I was thinking maybe I also film short clip from from there but uh then I was like all right I’m I’m trying to uh do it like not just uh just uh just seeing uh old friends and uh uh maybe dancing at the end I didn’t dance at at all uh it’s it’s always like when I S dance to meet uh woman then I’m not dancing and then when there is no chance then I need to dance8 hours for or 6 hours for no reason so uh neither way it doesn’t matter uh what what I do I always uh also yesterday I realized that I need to go uh Home Alone after uh maybe 1 hour uh one hour in there uh and then um just I I just need to uh do like walk of same front of the different bars to walk alone and be like joke for for people it’s a little bit uh depressing and then there is also um then there is a once in a while when I’m walking back those those uh walk of Sams then there is the those group of woman and they’re like watching like that’s the that’s the that’s the moment walking walking somewhere like then there like so what what now like there is three or four woman walking somewhere on the street and then I just pass them by like what should I do start start uh asking random people if someone wants to go go with me to my house or like whatso whatsoever also silence in Social uh dating dating apps but at the end the competition was uh I couldn’t completely Reach My Level I was kind of missing the missing the tricks unfortunately usually if the time is uh on drinking then U the aiming and the level is dropping because uh when you’re are HDE or drunk uh it drops your level hugely hugely usually and still um I was feeling like I I can do it uh staying sober sober good level but at the end the competition was uh went quite well uh I’m quite happy about my cont I haven’t been skateboarding in KLA lately so I didn’t do that difficult tricks in in there uh and I’m a little bit surprised because uh there is like skate schools going on all the time there is a hundreds of people going different skate schools and I’m once in a while I’m wondering like all the contest there is no there’s usually not uh new skateboarders in there and they’re doing doing skate schools schools all the time and uh at the same time there is uh like woman’s uh doing movies actually Julia vland just did new new movie and uh uh it was kind of good it was a little bit short to be honest I was waiting maybe um 10 minutes or 15 minutes movie it was maybe three or four four minutes I think it’s too short I want to see a full Parts all those woman uh doing the doing the effort well if they I mean like if they want to but usually it needs to be opposite what I what I want to woman to do or what I wish if I want that they are eating healthy or what they uh doing contest or go to gym or date or whato whato whatsoever but usually it needs to be opposite so I’m a little bit uh confused what what should I say if I say that do this or I like to see this or this or uh I think we can also have misund understanding about about things but any anyway uh hopefully in future there is uh also in those contest I don’t know why people don’t come there to watchs or skateboard or um of course there is like uh time time limits time limits also like how how long there is time to do the contest but then they can modify the rules a little bit maybe more skaters at the same time or or or some different different ways uh anyway like usually I’m a little bit upset uh more and more I feel like uh it’s uh it’s so sad to always come home home alone and uh uh now I have been four years going to bars after breakup I haven’t been finding any woman in four years in in bars or any anywhere else than on social media before they block me out from there to uh made it like uh just going bars but any anyway anyway uh I eat my breakfast uh same breakfast and usually and looks like it’s the weather is at least quite nice today uh so instead of instead of so instead of uh spending relaxing uh Sunday with someone maybe taking day off doing video blog or or anything uh maybe having sex and hang out and eat together I go alone uh sleeper running because I don’t I can’t go to the gym because they kick me out from there to not being not not being able to because they wanted the skateboarding be more like a like it can be the level can be that atly or or something so I always need to uh get like a more and more somehow like uh out from my comfort zone more and more like uh sometimes I feel like I’m homeless buom or truck user uh level to be to be truly honest because they want they just want that SK boarding can’t be like a uh treated or skateboarders can be treated like SK like a like sports or athletes uh so many times many times I need to uh for for for for that reason uh I can’t go uh gy at the moment or or anything so I go instead of uh getting my um uh enjoying and having pleasure with the woman I need to go uh having uh Hard Times running running all the cold weather and after that I go to La and um also during this Co times the many finish woman they are like U they made it the my sex life or my talking uh in cold water to make it more difficult uh I don’t I don’t want to um have tion in I think it’s like uh going to Frozen water to uh have erection or talk with someone uh I think it’s it’s not smart thing to do and uh that’s just using me like usually I I really hope and like I’ve have been doing all the co co times and after my breakup to try to date normally to go eat or uh talk or walk or meet somewhere or uh do some sports uh and all the time they they just wanted to do more and more more difficult because just just because uh they were thinking that I can’t be like that or that’s that’s not somehow really you or uh you can’t be like that because of your skateboarding and uh neither I don’t want to start using drugs I know that if I if I start using alcohol or drugs there is like chance to it’s so much easier also if you’re in bar uh because people are usually looking the the persons that are on same level so that’s why when I go to Bar sober I can’t find anyone from from there neither because I’m not drunk in there maybe there is some woman that’s interested about me but uh I can’t it’s it’s just don’t match because I’m not drunk and I still think it’s possible to do uh not being drunk drunk or or hide to find find someone to spend night or or even something more um and during those Co times I saw all the times when the season was when the government was making new rules like now these people go out now these people go out now these people find now these people find I was all the time uh they were figuring me out wrong almost all the time like I said once I went to connect by a uh bar that is next was next to my house and when I went inside that bar I was feeling like I need to eat uh I need to drink just 12 Beers and some shot and pass out and be like a one drunk uh joke again but uh anyway anyway it was uh nice to see uh people yesterday uh and uh I mean like once in a once in a while I maybe in future I’m because I don’t have almost nothing to lose so maybe I go more often every weekend I go somewhere to drink those beers without alcohol just just to feel that uh maybe that’s how you get more respect or or something I don’t know to get different bars I don’t in my mind it doesn’t make that much sense sense I want to go out once in a while also I like to go different places but uh I think I can also be there sober uh I I think I can date sober I think I can talk with people sober it doesn’t have to be like uh getting courage to have alcohol to to talk talk some someone also yesterday I was feeling in I was feeling like I’m a losing speaking English I I I I feel a little bit frustrating when I go places and I feel like I can uh somehow speak English um well there wasn’t that that many situations that I needed to speak English but uh every time I I need I need to say say things just wrongly it’s uh frustrating also there was a in Lain there was same situation there was a on Thursday there was some um people from some nurses from private uh private uh healthc care uh company working crew and uh I needed to just uh lose uh speaking English or say like not not finding the words or say the words wrongly almost half an hour before I was able to speak speak uh and get progress and not not to speak wrongly um also some sometimes I also my finish go those times usually I also lose lose at the end speaking Finnish so I speak also Finnish wrongly and right and read I need to write and read also those languages wrongly some people say it’s like a a problem but uh I think all the all the problem is just in your head and you can solve all the problems and uh and uh having actually solving those problems and uh I can uh uh read correctly and uh I can uh speak correctly and uh uh it’s it’s just like all the and like all the mental health issues and um health issues I think it’s possible to uh cure I think it’s possible to cure and find cure and and get progress progress in in all the all the all the things but now I start eating and uh checking some news I feel a little bit uh depressed because of not finding any anyone like usually after so much effort like always and uh still I feel uh many times just like uh like then I go different places then I just wait and uh like whatever I do it’s wrong if I talk to someone it’s it’s wrong if I’m dancing it’s wrong if I’m not doing anything it’s wrong if I’m uh uh like what however I do it’s always wrong I it’s uh I just I’m just not allowed to do uh nothing usually but now I start uh now I start eating all right so now it’s 10 uh 13 past 10 and uh I think I’m going to go and do run and actually my first plan for this year was um run outside and uh exercise at home until uh until the winter but like usually I needed to do opposite and fail on my what what I wanted to do so I needed to start going to gym uh one month earlier and then when I was actually trying to go to gym to make my running easier I needed to make it more difficult and go uh run outside when it’s snowing and the most most slippery weather so it’s going to be a moreor difficult run again uh also 2018 and 19 uh I was uh running outside all all winter and it was so so slippery with the normal normal s because it was full of snow all all year but uh it needed to be uh more poor sport they thought that skateboarding is too expensive and uh then I need to start um thinking again what it’s what is like a cheap way to exercise and uh all the group sports like football and uh Icey is so expensive also skiing skiing was too expensive so uh it needed to be more poor so I was I have been basically just running doing poor poor runs for for for that reason because they thought that uh uh it’s uh too expensive or or something so for that reason I needed to just go automatically more and more more and more poor uh because they were like no it can’t be that that that you can’t uh it needs to be more poor and more poor like like all the time so I’m back to this uh great almost or uh crazy almost homeless runs like like so many years before at least the weather is good hopefully it’s not too slippery and uh and uh I think I’m going to run uh four four three or four miles uh not too much not too fast but I feel like uh I want to go back with my trainings my hand is also feeling a little bit little bit better but it still hurt quite quite a lot [Music] all right so now I’m back home and uh at the end I did 5.2 miles run and uh it was it wasn’t actually that difficult to run um I was failing with doing one video uh there was like uh many people around and uh the weather was good but uh somehow I was missing pressing wreck also yesterday when the contest started there was uh p uh contest at the start and um and actually I did uh I did that nly backside Pig spin backside over groups nly backside Pig spin out or n 270 sh it in N 270 sh it uh out uh I did it first first dry uh almost not perfectly but it was good enough and uh then I I started to I was asking another a to film it and then I was struggling maybe 15 minutes and uh at the end it didn’t went that well and maybe even my heel was touching a little bit of ground also uh at the beginning I was doing those ta at 270s correctly and then I was just uh Missing more and more every every try just missing more and more instead of every try learning it uh more proper and more proper and I I still think uh learning learning things to get better is smarter than learning things to uh get worst but uh that’s how they have been making uh my generation skateboarding to uh make it make it worst instead of uh getting getting progress and it affects all my areas in my life dating working uh schools uh what whatever I do uh usually I I start being being cre and uh at the end uh they need to fire me or uh isolate me because of the because of the bad because of the Badness because uh they couldn’t teach me right uh after after that I did uh also uh my home training 48 minutes or 50 minutes uh I was actually filming it with my my uh uh smart classes or meta classes and uh uh one idea also was when I went to LA that I I was planning to buy uh classes and do live so from from there but then I thought that there’s no no way to earn money doing that but uh uh so it’s kind of I I’m already doing so many things for free so uh I’m trying to now also figuring out some new things to new things to do like usually I need to all the time like create something something new for uh for other people to get get profit instead and then getting uh I need to uh fail so other people can uh get better doing those things actually uh more stupid way or more more more more wrongly or or or something but um I’m I have been thinking to do live S I haven’t been doing lives in many many months now I was planning to also do one in New York but at the end I I couldn’t do the live so in in in there I didn’t have time or like a right time to do it I was exhausted or uh the parks were too difficult or there wasn’t like good good way to do it but uh luckily beginning of the years beginning of the year I I did one in in LA and uh I still see it’s it’s kind of interesting to do those live shows to be truly truly honest like uh it’s interesting to do those it’s interesting to watch it uh afterwards also yesterday also yesterday um uh Chris was maybe doing s short live so in there but he was delaying it almost almost immediately uh so there is always like uh there is ideas and progress but then they they don’t allowed uh us to do it and then they stole it to other other sports we are kind of like a like a use of uh other other sport instead of being independent Sport and uh uh also when I went when I went running I was uh feeling like uh uh under the ice skating or or something again um and I start feeling I need to move it’s crazy to leave country that is full of snow and so slippery so smart to live in in here and I started to feel like I need to create something under something sharp under my feet to make moving easier uh so that’s how they create uh ice skates and uh skiing uh but unfortunately I don’t have a money to do do that and I neither I don’t want to uh start building ice skates by myself or uh skis again uh so this was like that again and uh then uh also like many times before I was feeling like uh I need to go streets running and doing isy tackles uh so first I was uh first first three videos I was feeling like I My Level was uh I I’m back to not not just being myself when I go skateboarding they don’t allowed me to be good I I can’t be myself I just need to be worse all the all the time people just filming me f first and uh making they want to make me usually just worst uh for for some reason and so it it affects also my also my running so first three videos I was uh feeling like I’m not good good running anymore but uh the last video I was feeling myself again um and uh one one is middle of the uh while I was while I was running actually two ice tackles first I I almost needed to two I tackle one child and his father they they were they were just getting on the getting on the way on on purpose and uh uh and then I was like I’m not going to stop and uh then they needed to move and uh it’s it’s that that way it’s just going to be crash if people are blocking on purpose well they are blocking me different Works different places different spots just blocking blocking blocking isolating isolating isolating and uh also uh after that in sen T there was also one is isle is tackle so again just being under wrong sport or or something and not just being not just being able to be myself and skateboarder um I’m going to have sour today SL sa probably I go back on uh prostitution I don’t I still have some uh credit left uh before I’m completely completely broke uh so probably I need to go back on that meanless meanless sex without without any feelings and feeling feeling feeling good little at least a little bit good uh 10 or 15 minutes and uh after after that feel feel like uh maybe 5 minutes good and then feeling like feeling like sit and feeling like uh feeling like piece of [ __ ] like uh I don’t really want to do that but they don’t give me other other choices than that uh at the moment because I they just uh probably the the at the moment the thing is that people are living in fake relationships just just because of money so so uh I I also need to just give money for for the woman instead of uh talking or or uh having like true motions and uh actually like uh enjoying time with with someone uh so it’s little bit depressing but luckily it’s uh luckily it’s legal but uh usually and also today uh instead of woman liking me now there are the the thing is now that they are again just uh hating me like my size woman when they walk me on the street when I’m running they feel somehow that I’m competing against them back to that transsexual craziness they somehow think that in their mind they think that I’m woman uh they can they can truly see that I’m I’m man and they are just they are just uh they can just uh they can see that I’m they can see that I’m man and they are just jealous uh about about me and because they can’t compete about me uh because I’m usually I’m usually almost better than any any woman because a man men men’s are usually stronger and uh better doing different things than womans womans have their own own things I think some some things uh womans are uh better but uh every time they are starting to compete those uh radical feminists when they start competing against man that they want to isolate and make more people homeless or make make more man po that’s always ending up War we already have two Wars going on because of that reason and it’s not going to be starting to do more homeless people to make make make more money by TOS uh and control more uh if it’s that so then I think nuclear weapon is the best way to um make uh most most damage to uh make more more more more bodies and more uh homeless people or start using bigger biger bigger uh bigger uh missiles to if they want to make more homeless people and uh if they want more more top for for nurses and doctors and uh I I still think it’s really terrible way to uh really terrible way for the for the future to be truly truly honest and uh uh so basically I’m back to that uh I I go to Street whenever I go so instead of uh woman wants to meet me they want to to hate me instead of they want to like me they want to ha they want to hate me they some someday it will be nice to uh like if they can like truly just tell me like uh for what reason they hate me like for what reason is the reason that they they think that they are not good enough for me or or what’s the what or they thinking that the they competing against me or they have been planning me different way that I uh they have have been something somehow planning me to be something and then I’m not or what’s what’s what’s the thing I I I I would like to see like hear those comments and people are actually telling me like for for what reason they hate me why they looking at me like they like they want to kill me for for what reason what what I have been doing for them like uh I I’m just trying to I’m just trying to uh treat them well and uh respect them and think equally and uh find find woman and instead instead they are uh trying to hate hate me and and uh I’m back to that like when they see that I’m coming near by they quickly just looking other way like uh just like uh on on social medias or different places they they thought that that’s the best way to get more power if we are like like who’s watching who watch this again like who like like that’s that’s Child’s Play like truly uh like I’m I don’t care like if I’m watching my own social media like sometimes I’m watching girls and woman’s videos like uh and I’m not I’m never not thinking like hm I I should not not watch this because they’re are getting profit or they are getting they are getting uh somewhere if I’m if I’m also watching what they are doing neither if I’m watching some man’s doing some different things that I if I’m just interested if there is some men’s doing sports or some men’s doing like uh traveling or cooking or talking about their relationship or what what whatever people are doing or woman whatever they are doing like usually I’m just I don’t I don’t uh I I’m not uh ignoring someone just because I just because of the hate like uh and I having been hatte it hatte it almost my whole life and ignore it almost my whole life just because of my sport um now I’m going to have sour and then SA and uh then I’m trying to find uh a little bit uh actually I find I found some weeks ago a little bit um younger uh uh prostitution uh girl but uh I don’t know I feel a little bit uh sh I think I I I know that it’s legal but I still feel a little bit shamed because I I was uh when I was in Rel relationship I was trying to um like uh help all the all the womans in the in the world and uh uh make make like uh how how you say like uh support the womans that are in difficult situation but uh but then I realized that there is many wom that they just want to uh do that for to get to get more more money and it’s easy well I don’t know if it’s easy way to get or earn earn money but uh but looks like it’s quite quite easy and uh men are usually ready to pay and still I I haven’t been founding any any woman to uh buy sex for me I been now over one year trying to uh also find some woman to buy sex but they don’t they don’t have courage to do that I I can see as many woman they want to but they don’t they don’t um have courage to uh say it loud for me to uh or give give the number or or say it so um so look looks like it’s uh and and neither I don’t want to that uh that that craziness that the woman are thinking that uh then you know how it feels that so they start doing those transexuals again or make me uh have try to make me have U sex with the transexual instead of woman um that’s that’s not that’s that’s that’s not going to happen last week I was this week I was also having one day when they were firing our national um national uh football league uh coach I I have been showing that already like they they made it they they just uh forced me to watch uh transexual born instead of woman they didn’t allowed me to be with the woman all the time like just one like just one just have been just using me uh 20 years or or something again but um one day I was like uh how the [ __ ] I’m back to this that I I can’t watch skateboarding I can’t watch woman I can’t I can’t think woman I just need to watch some uh uh transexuals and then I then I was reading the news like they they fired our uh football National Football uh coach and I was like ah that was the that was the reason well I saw it was the it was the reason earlier but uh but I just didn’t talk I I just didn’t talk about it and uh I don’t care if people think it’s true or not but that’s just how I that’s just how I feel people can say that I’m crazy I’m not crazy I’m that’s just how I that’s just how I feel but luckily luckily after after that I haven’t been I don’t have to do that do that anymore but but now I’m back to this because I because they were they were planning that I’m going to turn to gay or transsexual and then I wasn’t all the woman they were making some uh and different organizations they make they made some plans plans like like that uh so then I when I didn’t turn into that uh then that’s why they are probably angry because uh their plan went went went wrong and they I still think it’s so far away from any sort of human rights to try to play with someone’s sexuality or or life they already rued my whole life my relationship my Works my studies my sport my my everything and um but luckily now but now I I have been able to uh well I’m I still think it’s a little bit sad to just watch born at home and uh masturbate and uh then uh use your credit card to by byy sex for for prostitute and have a have a meanless meanless sex but of course I hope I have been also asking many uh prostitution uh prostitutes out to dinner or uh hang out but usually they don’t want to usually no one want don’t want to uh hang out they they also want money for that uh I have been a little bit upset those times because because of because of that reason and sometimes I feel like some some some prostitute prostitutes they they only wait for the for the rich richest man they just wait for the richest man and um I don’t know why I have that that that sort of feeling but anyway now I’m going to have sour then go to uh Lain L and then start to uh figuring out like uh how to how to have a meanless meanless sex but uh and uh like I said it’s a little bit sad I I still think I’m kind of good looking and nice person and and I I can’t understand why I need to why I need to be that person but at least it’s better than uh than uh being forced to be gay it’s it’s it’s so much better than that but uh still still it’s a still I’m not happy about the situation let’s say that way and uh it was supposed to be it was supposed to be uh like a shft for men’s and uh wom today on Lain Lati but they have been turning into only only for the only for the woman so I can’t I can’t go there so I’m trying to figure it out something some other other place to some other place to go but before that I’m going to have sour and now also I need to eat all right so at the end I decided to uh on my way back home I was I went to uh meet one K and after that I when I was on my way back home and I I thought first like I’m going to go store and buy some food but then I realized there was uh some sushi buffet right next to my house so then I realized there is some Su right next to my house so so then I then I decided to then I decided to come here and eat eat in here and it’s actually like a food actually looks quite good so but at the moment I don’t know if it’s smart or not so if it’s smart or not at the moment to e here but all right so all right so at end I went to again to uh just byy six and uh like usually like usually I was asking if the girl wants to do something after after that go eat or uh hang out usually I’m trying to talk a little little bit uh if they’re interested but usually they’re usually they’re they’re not interested to talk neither neither do do anything um she said that she don’t she on date uh clients she said that she’s not uh they dating clients and uh uh also I don’t know if uh if one in different jobs if they can uh date their clients or uh I don’t know how the how the rules go probably it has been made that uh no one can date me any any anyway and uh after that after that I went eating that Su was eating so much my my stomach is uh like I feel like uh it’s hard to even breathe I I feel like I just need to uh lay down because too much because too much eating and uh I don’t want to neither get fat once in a while I eat a little bit uh too much but that that time also uh I feel like I’m eating uh two person’s meals uh because they don’t allowed me to be myself and then the other person so uh I don’t want to get too minded or neither neither crazy either be crazy either and uh hopefully it doesn’t affect anyone that they need they need to start being without any without any any eating neither so I I still think it’s stable eating it’s uh better better way um also now I feel like uh uh disappointed about myself disappointed about uh our society uh Angry a little bit uh like uh I really don’t want to like do this uh I don’t I feel like it’s uh humilating for for me and uh it’s not even that that nice but uh that’s what they that’s what they want that’s what they wanted uh I feel a little bit shed I feel a little bit loser like usually even more more loser and uh so first they are uh laughing about making talk about my dating and uh then they get getting angry if I’m if I’m buying sex so uh basically they like usually they don’t people don’t give me any other options than be isolated at home neither today or well actually yesterday there was someone talking again uh on on Tinder she was uh only 5, 300 uh miles or kilometers away so a little bit too far for at the at the moment and sometimes if there’s those long distance people talking from long long distance distance I’m usually just asking if if I don’t have money can they are they going to come here or what’s their their plan but anyway now I start watching some movie and uh also after that I went to little I I bought some candies like candies like usually uh and tomorrow I go back on back on training and uh I’m a little bit disappointed because I was I my first plan wasn’t to go by sex today and uh my my plan was to to kind of easy easy Sunday go first running then exercise then go Somas meet there maybe maybe meeting some girl in there on on Sunday and uh maybe go eat after after that but uh but back to this back to this kind of this kind of dating uh this was again uh today and this kind of meeting uh this was again uh today’s episode thank you everyone again for watching this and see you tomorrow oh oh and by the way on my wait on to to buy the check I I was actually on the on public transport I was next to one woman was who was uh kind of perfect for me I was a little bit spinning in there like I was feeling like it’s it’s the it’s the right moment so the right moment for me to meet woman is when I’m on my way to buy sex from from hooker again and uh and after that I uh she was she was with with her kids she was maybe divorced or something so that was uh supposed to happen the Maybe over 10 years ago it couldn’t happen I was just isolated somewhere I don’t know where uh so things couldn’t go things couldn’t go right back then neither neither now and uh then on my way back after six I was also there like then I was sitting next to one woman who was uh also kind of interesting looking but uh then I I needed to start feeling guilty and uh I having many years going places eating alone watching movies alone running alone skateboarding alone working traveling alone going doing doing absolutely any anything to meet meet people and more effort I do less less people are interested and more they more the Masters hate me more effort I do for them so uh so I I I I don’t I don’t know actually like what what what else can I can I do and uh but but anyway this was today’s episode again and uh I started feeling a little bit uh I I start feeling self-hate but I’m trying to ignore my self-hate and uh uh start start start somehow loving loving myself instead of uh instead of hating hating myself myself for for for the things that uh I was almost forced forced to do and uh I’m almost sure that at some point that uh people’s Gaya is going to end they they can’t uh forever just uh lie about about me and try to try to uh force me to be something that I’m that I’m not and uh telling telling just lies all the time and think things only based on on that again thank you everyone again for watching this and uh see you tomorrow
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